Confessions of a Ministry Hoarder...

Yep, that's me! Denise Briley aka ministry hoarder.

For about a week now the Lord has been revealing huge life changing chunks of truth to me every morning during my quiet time. Actually, the time has not been so quiet... I didn't take to his prompting to eagerly.

"You're a hoarder Denise! A ministry hoarder... you think you have to be the best, share the most, do it first and get the credit"! Ouch Lord, I thought I was passed all that pride! However, God's been showing me otherwise.

He knows me, his child... hard headed, so he took me down memory lane:

• I thought I had to be the boss of my neighborhood clubhouse as a child. I think I even charged the kids on our street to join my clubhouse. Their mom's told my mom I was a "prissy pants" and then years later when I started working at church and serving others they exclaimed to her how amazing that was, the turn around in my life". Ugh!!!
• My uncle used to say I was a "smart aleck" and had to have my way! Ugh
• I thought I had to be the loudest and be first! Ugh!

I have been broken inside these last seven days! God has taken me on an emotional roller coaster and I never even realized it until today!

Last week he spoke into my heart that Thad and I were supposed to join a Sunday School class at our church. One with "real adults" not children, no special needs people, not many folks I knew personally... nothing that I could run too or cling too or hide from! We did it and it was awesome. I sat with my man in a Sunday School class for the first time in our 31 years of marriage and on the ride home we just softly spoke of how nice it was! (so are you done Lord?)

Yesterday, the Lord prompted me to finally face the four and 1/2 years of putting off going through Clayton's things, his paperwork, nursing notes, doctor's orders, IEP goals... everything! To face that he really is gone, he's in Heaven and he's not coming back... gently I processed each and every piece of paper that slowly passed through my hand. ( I realized the Lord was seriously not done!)

However, what God showed me was that it wasn't a sad thing. It was TESTIMONY to God's provision. Testimony to everything I'd ever spoken up for, believed in for our son! Every doctors' visit was a testimony that a family could and did love their son with special needs and loved him well. (although I cried my eyes out until I had no more tears left)

Every IEP document from ARD meetings was a testimony that I attempted to create a great education for our son who never walked, talked or sat up... and you know what, although it was difficult at times, I look back on those years as "plowing up concrete" so that other families behind us didn't have to struggle so much. Those teachers, those therapists, those principals all gained my respect and friendship because at the end of the day, at the end of our boy's life, they joined us in a church sanctuary for his funeral... they truly loved our son and other's like him!

Every photo... wow the photos... they reminded my heart of how we'd given our lives to special needs ministry so that others like us just might get welcomed at the church of their choice... and now that is slowly becoming the NORM, thanks to many who are carrying the torch and paving the way!  My hoarding, it seems had become my holding on to what I thought was my life for the past 30 years... but it was really testimony of what God had done with our life for the last 30 years.

Why did I keep it held so tightly for so long? I have no clue... but I grew up yesterday and in these last seven days... I so desire to say I am sorry if I charged you to come to my clubhouse when we were 8 years old! But that was then... this is NOW!

I no longer want to be a ministry hoarder, I want to take all that God has given me in my heart, soul and mind and bless others more deeply. To give knowledge away and not care if I get the credit. I just want to bless others so that when that time comes in their family, they will have friends in church, school and life that sit by them in a funeral home to send their baby home to Heaven... knowing that lives were built for the Kingdom of Christ Jesus and the rest is just wood, hay and stubble.

I want to encourage you parents of kids with special needs to do the same. Mentor a family that is just a bit behind you in this journey. Step away from your life, your routine, your day to day demands and comfort someone else. Why? Because Jesus says so!

As he was passing by, He saw a man blind from birth. His disciples questioned Him: "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
Neither this man nor his parents sinned," Jesus answered. "This came about so that God's works might be displayed in him. We must do the works of Him who sent Me while it is day." John 9:1-4

He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God.     2 Corinthians 1:4  

So if you see a pep in my step, it's not because of anything other than my Lord Jesus has grown this girl up. He can do the same for you... and please take my word for it... it's would be much easier if you just give in! UGH.

I love you and appreciate what you do for the Kingdom of God... keep serving Him, keep loving on others and let's do this well!

That's some roof wisdom....

Denise  
               

Just a Sunday School Teacher with a Desk

Each Sunday morning at church around 9:45am, I teach the Sunday school lesson to a classroom of children and youth with various disabilities. Each Sunday I pray early in the morning before I leave for church that they will somehow understand in their minds and hearts, what God wants them to understand and that my words will be his words that they hear.

Hebrews 5:12 says, “Although by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the basic principles of God’s revelation again. You need milk, not solid food."

Each Sunday I have to review the story from the previous week and redirect almost all of our children and youth in our Bungalow class to sit up, pay attention, quit throwing blocks and the list goes on and on. Yet week after week we continue to teach about Jesus, plan and prepare the crafts the snacks, the sensory areas because after all I am their Sunday School teacher.

They do not know that I am the leader of their special needs ministry; they do not care if my badge says my name on it, or if I even have a job. All they are concerned with on that particular time in their lives is who is going to teach the Sunday school lesson? They want to learn about Jesus and hear the stories that I hope at some point come to life not only in the classroom but also in their minds and hearts. 

As I look out the huge windows of my church, into my city today I see cars, trucks traveling back and forth, and I wonder how many of those cars and trucks have passengers that could attend our class at church. If I could, I would love to run out there and shout… “Hey do you have a church home?” but in Houston traffic I would probably not live through that expedition.

When I explain to a new parent or child why I teach them, how we have buddies that can go with them to most venues on the campus, or why we have a class at our church for children “like them” I only mean it in the most considerate way. I want them to feel at home in Thru the Roof, I desire just like Jesus did I believe, to be comfortable and without fear while they are in his presence. So in our class there is no stress (none that we would cause anyway) unless a child has some behavior issues that our volunteers and I soon get under control as we proceed!

To them, they do not even know that I office at the church during the weekdays. To explain to them why I am also here on Wednesday nights I just say, “I am your Sunday School teacher with a desk.”

Truly, that is what I am. Yes, I have a list of credentials that I could rattle off but hate to! It does not matter to a child or adult with special needs how many books I have read (unless counting books has something to do with their disability). I just want to be Ms. Denise to them. and in years to come as they remember me I hope they will remember that I loved them with all my heart and that I taught them all I could about Jesus and His Word, the Bible.  

Nevertheless, those credentials, those Bible lessons, those preparations are important if we are to give them our all. If we are to give them our best! I would encourage you whether you are a lay leader who teaches Sunday school, Life Bible Study, Small group… whatever your church calls it to “re-up” and reconnect with others in your church or community or on Facebook or twitter. Meet with other churches in your area who are wanting to do what you do, mentor them, let them fall forward and learn from the mistakes that you have already made in ministry so they don’t have to experience the pains that pulling up roof tiles can bring.  Attend conferences like Orange 2013, get with the trends of today, and be relevant for the children and adults you teach. It does not matter whether you lead a class of one or a ministry of 100 or 1000, we must be ready to share the word of Jesus Christ with them, especially if you are a Sunday school teacher with a desk!